This is just a drill

I am just testing to see if I can blog from my phone- if it works, hello real time posts!

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Pants and Inappropriate numbers

This post is not suitable for small children. lol

Today, everything was going well, until a rather large woman decided to come into my job wearing NO pants. she was wearing a long shirt and her buttcheeks were hanging out. I had a very hard time trying not to gag. Or laugh. Even my boss had to go into the back to stop from busting out laughing. It was disgusting.. Please people, wear pants! Nobody wants to see that especially the girl at your local pizzaria who knows you ordered like 50 dollars worth of food. Please wear pants.

Then, an older gentleman, about 40 or so, came in with his kid and ordered a medium pizza. I told him "Your total is 8.69" and he replied with this "mmm 69" I seriously had to walk away. Like how old are you?? You are about 40 and you said that to a 20 year old?? Really? Gross. I asked my cook to cash him out because that honestly grossed me out. Where do these people come from???

Tuesdays..

I very much dislike tuesdays. It seems that all the socially challenged people order pizza on tuesdays. I had a woman today, my driver forgot her soda. She called to tell me this and I accidentally hung up on her. I called her right back but she went on for about 5 minutes about how rude I was.. (she eventually shut up and I was able to send her her soda). Then I had a woman who had her headphones in and asked me to repeat everything I asked her. I also had a man who refused to believe that we don't have broccoli. These are just what I can remember.. But the icing on the cake was when I figured out why children get obese. A woman and her (overweight) son (about 7 or 8 years old) came in and ordered a medium pizza. The son asked for breadsticks. The mom asked "what do you need breadsticks for" he said and i quote  "I like to wrap my pizza around the breadstick. It's funner." I worked very hard keeping my face expressionless. (He got his breadsticks). Lord give me the strength to make it through Tuesdays.  (Tomorrow I open and it is the wing sale day so I'm sure I will have some winners)

Patience

Hello everyone. Sorry it has been so long, I had off a couple of days and the days I didn't I came home so tired I just wanted to go to sleep. Today though, I had a trend at work that I had to share. People nowadays have no patience. Everything needs to be right there when they ask for it. I guess thats the fault of technology. But pizza is not technological. Pizza has to be custom made, and also COOKED. I'm sorry I don't have your half jalapeno and pineapple half vegetable pizza premade and waiting for you to call and order it. It is going to take 15 minutes. And no, I cant take it out sooner or make it go any faster. It is a conveyor belt. If I stick my hand in there I will get burnt. (Sorry, I refuse to give myself physical harm for these people). So if you really want your pizza, wait for it. Also, when I tell you delivery is going to be about an hour, please do not call me every 20 minutes asking me where your pizza is. My computer tells me what time you ordered. Don't tell me you have been waiting an hour and a half when you have only been waiting 40 minutes. I will call you out on your lie. And, I remember the voices of the paople who call so don't tell me that I told you it would be at your house in 20 minutes, because I didn't talk to you, I probably talked to your girlfriend, child or grandmother (because for some reason, those 3 categories of people order the most. and 99.9% of the time they repeat everything I order back to you, so you might as well just put me on speaker). Patience people. Please. I will probably post tomorrow because tomorrow is Monday and the crazies come out on Mondays.

Mondays

Oh, I despise Monday. Monday is when all the crazies come out. There was a woman today who decided to try to convert me to Baptist. She comes in every Monday to buy cheesesticks for her bible group... mmm Holy cheesesticks.... She has never tried to convert me before though. But today, she was telling me all about the Scripture and how it can save my life and how I should go to Holy something-or-other church. I was like lady, please, go to your bible group and preach there. I do not like when people shove their religion down my throat. (Also, we have had groups of nuns come into the store.. nuns make me nervous. I always feel like a little kid trying to be on my best behavior and I never know what to say when they say God Bless You...) Someone also asked me for a pizza with half corn. Yes. Corn. (?!?!?)But the highlight of my night was when I was standing by our side door talking to one of my delivery drivers when a woman got our of her car with her young daughter and led her over to our bushes to pee. My boss was like EXCUSE ME!!! CAN YOU NOT DO THAT? THERE IS A BATHROOM INSIDE. And the woman replied with this little gem "What are you looking over here for, you pervert" (my boss is a woman btw.) I had to go inside I was laughing so hard.

Hello World!

Hello everyone! As many of you may know, I have another blog called Wheels on the Bus. I post there about people i meet on public transportation. These people are funny, but i have a job at a pizza fast food chain. the people i encounter here are hilarious and sometimes unbelievable. ** all my stories (on both blogs) are 100% true. i would not waste my time with lies** i will do my best to post everyday.

What frustrates me the most about people is that everyone has their own agenda. I understand you want your pizza, but would it be so hard to actually listen to the answers of the stupid questions you insist on asking? You ask me what my specials are, i tell you. (now let me just say our commercials are EVERYWHERE! If you don't know what our specials are, you live under a rock. Also, there is an extra charge for extra cheese. I tell everyone this.) Please do not order extra cheese and then when I tell you "OK that is 2$ more", you get all pissy. Maybe if you listened, you would know that. Also, please do not make me repeat the specials to every person in your household. Put me on speaker. And please, pizza is not hard to order. Most people have pizza preferences. It should take 2 minutes or less to order. Do not put me on hold to yell up the stairs to your mom, dad, grandpa, grandma, uncle billy, aunt sally,  brother, sister, girlfriend, boyfriend and every cousin you have to find out what each one wants. At any given time I have about 4-6 customers at once. Figure out what everyone wants and then call back. Or, if you must ask the specials, ask and then call back.

This is a good first post because the people I described above, I get EVERYDAY. And a lot of the times, it is the same people. Tomorrow, I will post more common occurrences.